Sexual harassment : The hidden danger for female graduate students
What is Sexual harassment?
There are many definitions of “sexual harassment” online. As Malaysians are largely conservative about sex, the most common form of sexual harassment is verbal harassment. I find the most accurate definition to fit into this context is
“any form of unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature occurs, with the purpose or effect of violating the dignity of a person, in particular when creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment”
Why am I writing about this?
Sexual harassment can happen in the campus. In many reported cases, the sexual harasser holds a higher position (i.e. a faculty member) and has certain power over the victim. However, I would like to focus on this issue amongst graduate students. In this stage, most graduate students are in the range of 23 to 30 years old, mainly single. Some are probably lonely and desperate to get married. Some students are under a lot of stress from study and life. When they face rejection and criticism, they take their frustration out on the victim. Keep in mind that a married man can also be an offender.
I know three cases of sexual harassment: 1) A female student was proposed by a staff several times. He was transferred to another place after she made formal complaints (Specific details not known as I heard this from a friend); 2) A female friend was harassed and stalked by a male student that I know. He kept persuading her to take his present and go out with him. He also kept sending emails and even implied that he wants to marry her. 3) The third case is my personal experience.
My long story short. The sexual harasser is somebody i called a colleague for 4 years (and a friend!). Last year I found out that he likes me but I never have any romantic interest in him. I have tried to remain friends because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Two months ago, he made his second attempts to provoke me and I emailed him to say that we’re no longer friends. To my surprise, he thought that I want to be his girlfriend! So I emailed him firmly stating that this must be an understanding and gave several warnings if he want to pursue this further. He replied me angrily with “Go to hell” and I have never reply him since. During the past 2 months, I only saw him several times in the library as he no longer going to the lab. Just three weeks ago, he emailed my supervisor questioning why I did not invite him to lab meetings (totally baseless accusation). He also forwarded my past email/s to my supervisor and another student in an attempt to to sabotage my relationships and credibility. He also sent an email and sms to intimidate me. I felt like I can no longer keep quiet about the whole incident and so, I wrote my supervisor a long explanation email together and forwarded his past emails as proof. My supervisor assured me that it will be taken care of and asked me to focus on my work. I'm really lucky because my supervisors and friends are so supportive. Unfortunately, I don't think this is the end of it.
How to recognize sexual harassment?
Below are some conducts and types of sexual harassment from this pdf file.
• Actual or attempted rape or sexual assault (physical)
• Unwanted touching and kissing (physical)
• Giving personal gifts in exchange for sexual favours (non-verbal)
• Staring, following (physically or on FB) or stalking the person (non-verbal)
• Asking for sexual favors (verbal)
• Unwanted letters, phone calls, emails or sms of sexual nature (verbal)
• Repeatedly asking out a person who is not interested (verbal)
• Unwanted sexual jokes, questions and comments (verbal)
• Calling somebody as babe, honey and dear (verbal)
• Telling lies or spreading rumors about a person's personal social and sex life (verbal)
What are the available online resources?
The important resources I found online online are:
1) Blog on Being A Woman in Philosophy
I found some of the stories shared are horrible examples of sexual harassment but nonetheless, very useful. This blog has resulted in some serious debates at Metafilter (see link to post).
2) Susan Gardner
I found the most useful article written by Susan Gardner (see link to article), a victim of sexual harassment in during her graduate study. Now as an associate professor, she promoted awareness in sexual harassment and encourage victims to step out.
3) Blog on Sexual Harassment Against the Law
This blog was created by UKM students covered a broad range of topics including Malaysian law against sexual harassment. There are two types of legally recognized way of committing sexual harassment: (1) Quid pro quo sexual harassment; and (2) Hostile environment harassment. The effects of sexual harassment on the victim was adequately highlighted. According to The Penal Code, section 509,
AWAM is onne of two NGOs on the government’s Technical Working Committee that produced the Code of Practice on the Prevention and Eradication of Sexual Harassment in the in the Workplace that was introduced in 1999. A 2002 study conducted by AWAM and Women’s Development Collective (WDC) found that 35% of respondents in Malaysia had experienced one or more forms of sexual harassment. Together with the Joint Action Group for Gender Equality (JAG) AWAM campaigns for the enactment of a Sexual Harassment Act. They also publish a article about Myths of Sexual Harassment in Malaysia.
5) Pdf file of Guide to Sexual Harassment (Malaysia) from Lawyerment.com.my
6) Assoc. Prof. Dr. Sabitha Binti Marican from Universiti Malaya
Sabitha, M. & Khadijah, M. (2004). Understanding and Managing Sexual Harassment at Higher Leaning Institutions: A Malaysian Case. Proceeding Management Education Excellence: The New Frontiers, Universiti Utara Malaysia.
7) Assist. Prof. Dr. Patricia Sloane-White from UTAR
Research interest in sexual harassment in Muslim corporations
Some universities such as Harvard University have guidelines and procedures for sexual harassment including a list of officers to be contacted (see link). A search in Pubmed about “graduate sexual harassment” returned 41 hits. Less than one third of the articles are relevant. I only found four titles that are highly relevant but half of the studies were conducted in 1990s. Does this show how little this problem is addressed in academia?
How to prevent it?
First, you need to recognise when you're harassed. In the beginning, the student will attempt to ignore the incidents and hope that those uncomfortable feelings will go away. Like what people say, "out of sight, out of mind". Unfortunately, most harassers stick around and caused more damage to the victim's mental health. Second, tell the harasser that you don’t like his actions and that you want him to stop. If he wants to date you, you must firmly state that you’re not interested. Do not give vague excuses. Tell him he’s not your type and you’ll NEVER be interested in him. Never try to be friends or friendly with him (that's my mistake). Try to avoid him whenever possible. If you're somebody confident and comfortable around others, you might be misunderstood by your male counterpart as showing an interest in him. The sexual harassers that I know are overly sensitive guys who tend to overthink and misinterpret a girl’s intention. For example, when you say no, he might think you’re playing hard to get, just upset or jeolous. Do not allow room for his imagination.
If sexual harrassment happens to you, what do you do?
• Tell the harasser that you don’t like his actions and that you want him to stop. To avoid any miscommunication, make sure you be clear and direct. Don't apologize or smile.
• Consult your friends who will listen to you. Only cry in front of the friends you trust.
• Avoid your harasser. Hide somewhere until things cool down
• Always keep EVIDENCES- whether it’s a sms or email. Don’t delete it just because you’re angry, upset or scared! I was sooo thankful I still keep the harasser's email that said he likes me. Otherwise, it’s his words against mine!
• If somebody else is present during the incident, ask that person if he/she can testify against the harasser.
• Keep a written account of the harassment including date, time, the harasser’s name and how the incident(s) happened.
• Do not reply. If you have to, reply after you’ve calm down and think over what you want to say. Be careful with what you say as you might need to show others as evidence.
• Put on a brave face if you have no choice to avoid him. Do not show him that you’re affected by his actions.
• Consider discussing this problem with a senior position outside of your institution. In my case, my co-supervisor was the first few people i talked to and receive support from.
• Consider informing your supervisor. First, you need to know what is his/her reaction to your story. They might need some proof or evidences to be convinced and probably need to consult somebody of higher position.
• If things get very serious, consider filing a formal complaint to the dean and university. In this situation, be prepared to be interviewed. If you feel like you’re about to cry, don’t restrain yourself. You need to show them how much it has affected you before they take you seriously.
• Call AWAM (Telenita helpline: 03-78770224; email:awam@awam.org.my) or a women’s NGO for help and guidance.
• Worst case scenario - make a police report. You might consider hiring a lawyer to pursue a civil suit.
Conclusion
I hope that my post will create awareness among graduate students. Some might not be aware that they're harassed or even harassing other people. Most victims suffered in silence because they do not make formal complaints. Out of the three cases mentioned, only the first case was formally reported. Some victims hope it will go away soon while some feel sorry or guilty to report the incident. The latter is exactly how I feel in the beginning. However, you must remember that what you go through is not your fault, it's his! Reporting it is the only way to prevent creating another victim (ya that's being said back to myself). In addition, there is a need for clear guidelines and implementation for local universities in Malaysia. There is a clear guideline for chairs or academinc staff from higher position on how to handle sexual harassment (see link to website). Students needs a support or counselling group where they can share their personal problems. Furthermore, a recent newspaper article in The Star discussed the need to pass the Sexual Harassment Bill to protect women from workplace sexual harassment. We must be preparing for it before it happens.
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